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I want to go to here.

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Once again, I am veering away from inspirational quotes (OK, I guess 30 Rock is pretty inspirational) in order to portray the seriousness of this situation. I understand there is a difference between want and need. I need to go here.

I first of all stumbled upon (yes, I did indeed stumble upon it using the website stumble upon. I was going to say I literally stumbled upon it, but that would imply that I physically tripped over the pictures, which did not at all occur) this wonderful place while avoiding my homework, like every good college student does. The post is here:

The Maldives (and a lot of other awesome places).

and I think it’s worth looking at, to appreciate the gorgeous creations that God has placed on our planet. Living in a city, I try to take time to notice the beauty of nature, maybe look up at the stars, but sometimes forget that such radically amazing things can exist when faced day after day looking at the same brick-layered buildings. Sadly I doubt I will be able to visit said twenty-seven surreal places prior to my death, but I without a doubt can say I will make a concentrated effort to set foot on this piece of land. More reasons why:

ImageImageImageImageImageImageStop. Just stop. As Buzzfeed describes, the pinpricks of light in the water are created by phytoplankton. Microscopic organisms working together to create one of the most breathtaking things I’ve ever seen. If all the world’s a stage, this gives a whole new meaning to the saying there are no small parts, just small actors.

If anyone has ever visited this place and not left it breathlessly inspired, give me a call. Ready for the cheesiness? I can imagine myself walking barefoot on the sand and looking up into the stars – and also being able to stretch my hand out into the sand, and actually touch them.

So. Middle of November resolution. Get to this place. Someday. Somehow. I’ve never been one of those girls who sits around planning her wedding or honeymoon, but hey, this place wouldn’t be too shabby to visit after tying the knot.

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So My Cat Got a Bag Stuck on Its Head

No, that’s not one of the thought provoking quotes that I usually begin with. What gave you the hint?

Usually when you hear strange noises from downstairs at night, it’s your cat. But 99% of the time you think it’s an axe-murderer. So when I heard the crackling sounds from inside our kitchen at midnight, I slipped out of bed as quietly as I could to investigate. And of course save my household from the imminent perils of axe murderers, etc.

Ready to combat the perilous weapon-wielding doer of evil, I flicked the kitchen lights on, and there was my cat, in the middle of the wooden floor, with a bag stuck on its head.

Bet you didn’t see that one coming, did you?

Ok, so you did. Anyway, I do not know what possessed her to attempt to inhabit a plastic grocery bag for her bedding of choice, but whatever did, the result left me laughing at her for a good ten minutes. Wait, don’t judge me like that. Don’t pretend you were doing anything better on a Sunday night. I say don’t pretend because you probably actually were doing something better.

I think when cats get into ridiculous scenarios, they’re the funniest members of the entire animal kingdom. If a dog got a bag stuck on its head, it would probably just paw it away until it came off. A squirrel would just slip out of it, a bird would probably fly away, and mostly every other animal probably wouldn’t encounter one in the first place. But cats, the notoriously graceful creatures, try to play it off like they meant for it to happen.

My cat: Oh, yes, this polyethylene decoration adorning my body? This is fully intentional. I’m just going to sit casually down on this couch and wash my leg and maybe NRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH, I mean, excuse me. What? No, no, I wasn’t trying to remove this beautiful material from my neck, I was only getting more comfortable, maybe I’ll get more comfortable by squeezing through this tight space MMMMMMMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRFFFFFF oh pardon me. Why did I just run frantically behind the television cabinet and nearly destroy all of your carefully arranged drapery? I do that occasionally. For sport of course. I think I’m going to run in circles now NRGH MRNGH NERK because that’s something I wanted to do and obviously I’m not trying to remove this crinkling plastic object that is only partially obscuring my vision. I like it this way, brings some spontaneity into my life.

Needless to say I am a terrible person and let her figure her own way out of her predicament as I sat there and laughed hysterically at her misfortune. I think that cats are the only animals, aside from people, that are capable of showing embarrassment. Like people, they’re supposed to have their lives together, but when something happens that betrays the fact that they don’t, they pretend that everything’s cool. And this is one of the reasons I like cats better than dogs.

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Where there is no imagination there is no horror; -ACD

Ok, so I couldn’t decide between that quote, and this one:

There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch – Robert Brault.

But the general theme of the two is: Halloween. That’s right, the holiday where parents throw the advice of “don’t speak with strangers” to the wind and allow their children to take various sustenance from unknown individuals.

That, of course, is one of the many critiques on the holiday. I do acknowledge most of the shortcomings, but stick to one general rule: have fun.

Which, being over the age of twelve on a day that seems specifically reserved for the naivete of younger children who willingly receive candy from strangers, is actually easier said than done. Because, no matter how much people say “I’m too old for all that stuff,” there really is a child in every one of us looking for a brightly lit front porch, whether that porch promises sugary snacks or just a place to go and have a good time.

Cue the murder mystery party. Yes, you heard me correctly, my audience of an empty room and maybe if I’m lucky a fly on the wall, a murder mystery party. I highly recommend it to anyone who doesn’t think they’re too cool to set one up. And doesn’t live in a place where noise complaints are a serious issue. Cough cough, college dorms were not such a fantastic idea after all.

For our party of twelve, we created our own characters. A friend and I wrote them specifically for each person attending the party. And no, a ‘character’ is not simply a knight who is seeking a princess. For us, a character was a drug addicted homeless man who aspires to be on Broadway, but for now settles for living on the street Broadway and incessantly breaking into song and dance. And that was a more normal character.

We had a polite Canadian gangster, two overly paranoid secret agents with a particularly keen grudge against one another, a Norwegian government official who transformed into a Pokemon upon any question asked to him, Mulan, Mozart, a war veteran, a psychiatrist, and a recently graduated high school student named Michael Stoner. Oh, except the latter five were all the same person with a multiple personality disorder.

I could probably go on. Tragically during the evening, one of a set of twins who could only speak by completing each others sentences was murdered. It was slowly revealed that the polite Canadian gangster, who had had a one night stand with every person in the room but never called them back, had obtained government secrets from one of Michael Stoner’s many personalities. Or wait, was it from the Norwegian government official?

This is kind of where things went wrong. My friend and I created the characters, while another one of our friends created the storyline. But something got lost in translation, and it became nearly impossible – even with the home-schooled girl who learned all her social cues from game-shows narrating the events subsequent to the murder – to ascertain who murdered poor Tim Lim, Jim Lim the secret undercover cop’s beloved twin.

Still, though, it was hilarious, and definitely worth the attempt. And I think the brilliant sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s quote could work both ways. With imagination you can create horror, but it would be horrible not to have imagination, because that’s what makes things like this possible and, basically, risking getting cliche here – anything worth doing.

So happy Halloween. Your dentist thanks you for your participation in the holiday.